A man I interviewed the other day was telling me about his beautiful yard. He said the yard is his responsibility.
He bragged about; his flower beds, fountains and pruned bushes etc.
I asked him "How does it make you feel when you are through with your yard?" I added, "Do you feel; proud, resentful, tired, exhausted?"
He answered, "I feel exhausted, and yes I feel proud no matter how tired I am."
Then I asked him,"How does it make you feel when you help your wife with the dishes?"
I gave him the same examples; proud, angry, resentful, exhilarated, or tired.
He thought for a long time then he said, "I wish I didn't have to do it."
I said, "What if you made doing the dishes and shining up the kitchen your forever responsibility?" I finished as I watched his face go white. "It would be your baby, yours to be proud of. Then what would you think?"
He pondered that for quite a while, then he said, "It is a possibility."
I told him, "It would take a while, but how would it feel if you ended up doing it even better than she does?"
He took that one in.
He said, "Yes, that would be a possibility."
These big strong men need to have jobs that are theirs alone, to do as they see fit, What is amazing about this is if left on their own they eventually do a job they can be really proud of. If they don't do it to your expectations you either have to take it back as yours or live with the reality.
There is no third option.