How to Survive Infidelity
First and foremost the following are situations where perhaps you shouldn’t even try to salvage a relationship where infidelity is involved;
· If your husband is a serial cheater.
· If there has ever been violence in the home.
· If the cheating is blatant and he doesn’t try to hide it.
Now that we have that out of the way, why don’t we go ahead and save a few marriages?
Often, when women discover that their husbands are having an affair they get angry and kick him out. They go to the first Attorney they can find in the phone book and file for divorce. At that point they are so hurt and distraught that they can’t even think past the nose that’s sitting on their face.
So many men are basically, not only good people but fantastic fathers, but somewhere in the bottom half of their anatomy, something else becomes in charge.
THINGS TO CONTEMPLATE
Don’t jump the gun. Give yourself time to recover from the shock before you make life altering decisions. Find a friend that you can trust who will have your best interests at heart. Confide in someone who knows all of the good qualities that your husband possesses.
· A friend can remind you that he may be a keeper in the long run.
· A friend can tell you the good parts of your marriage because in your post infidelity state you will be able to see no good in your marriage. That will come after you have kicked him out and you see him living with another women. Then it would be too late.
· A friend will keep your confidence up so you can be strong enough to confidently insist on assurances so you will be protected just in case his belt ever came loose again.
It is very important that you get therapy in the very beginning. The road back won’t be easy and you will need outside help. What you might want to keep in mind is that a lot of couples go through this and they come out the other end better than ever. This is especially important if you have children. The fact that you will be forever connected to the children’s father whether you are with him or not plays a big role here.
We shouldn’t blame ourselves for our husbands cheating, but we shouldn’t automatically dump them for it when, sometimes our lack of effective communication is partly to blame. It would surely cut down on the odds of infidelity if the husband didn’t have double the free time his wife has. Balancing the householder work would change this dramatically. No longer would the man necessarily have a boring or uncooperative wife (one who is too tired to even think of having fun), or an angry and resentful wife who doesn’t have time to fix herself up. These are not attractive for anyone to come home to. This is especially important if you have children.
The fact that you will be forever connected to the children’s father whether you are with him or not plays a big role here.