Author Sherri Mills

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Retired/Not Retired

Yesterday A woman who came into my Salon stated emphatically that she detested her husband. I could tell that she meant it.

She said she had no idea what to do about it. She was 75 years old and had no place to go if she left him.

Her husband had been retired for 10 years and she knew that she would never be able to retire from her job.

Over the years she had formed the habit, as had he, that she was the one responsible for everything domestic.

Now he was retired, and she, not only wasn't retired but she had more work to do now than ever before because he was home all day.

I tried to tell her a few little tricks she could use to get him to do his part. It didn't work. The hate and resentment she had built up for so many years was too strong. She was not able to soften her stance long enough to even think about negotiating.

It sounded like the only communication they had all day was confrontation.

If they weren't arguing they were ignoring each other.

When I asked her about her love for him she said, "There hasn't been any love in our house for years."