From Prosperity to Poverty

I had a new client the other day who lived in a run down motel, worked at a place for $7.00 an hour and had a daughter who lived this existence right along with her mom.

I did the thing I do best. I began questioning her to discover how she got into this position in the first place. I got an ear full.

Even though I had heard it so many times before, I was still shocked to hear her story.

While she was married, she lived in a big house with a pool and all the amenities. She also had a son. However,he was no longer with her. He had opted to live with his dad because his dad was the one with the money.

Her reason for divorcing; She and her husband both had full time jobs, she kept everything up on the home front, while her husbands domestic deeds were non existent. His off time was spent golfing, fishing, and mountain climbing when he wasn't watching TV.

She told me that she knew she should have been able to do it all, she just couldn't handle it.

It was her turn to get an ear full, to no avail.

She was so matter-of-fact about her dire situation, it was eerie.

Stories like this are the reason my book had to be written.

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A Magical Transition Still at PLay

When I was down with my eye My darling husband did all the housework, cooked all the meals, did all the dishes, washed clothes, scrubbed floors, vacuumed every day, changed beds washed sheets and put all the cloths away. He waited on me hand and foot, fed me breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed, when needed, and took care of the grand kids when they came.

Before I went on strike, this man didn't lift a finger to do anything domestic.

I have a client my age who was sick a couple of months ago. When I asked her if her husband helped her through it she said, "Absolutely not, he could do nothing but ask when I was going to be better." then she added, "He was a nervous wreck until I could get back on my feet and be the family slave again."

I hear more stories like this than I can count.

Computer Problems

I was absent from my blogging for a couple of months because of my eyes and ironically soon after I returned my computer crashed.

Well, I have my computer back so hopefully I can be consistent from now on.

Splitting Emotions In Half

In my opinion, divorce should never be an option when you have children, (except on rare occasions,) because divorce doesn't necessarily constitute happiness.

When children are forced into a divorced situation their emotions are forever split in half. Children never stop trying to decide who's right and who's wrong, and who's side they are on at any given time.

In my research, I have discovered that not only are emotions split where the parents are concerned but sibling fights erupt over who is on who's side at different intervals.

When two people are considering divorce my guess is that they are completely unaware of what they or their children are going to be in for.

Our children do not deserve to go through the hell that a divorced situation so often puts them in.

If The Police Are Always Involved it Can't be Good

Yesterday there was a news report about a woman who shot and killed her ex-daughter in-law. When the policeman was interviewed he said "This is so sad, and you would never believe how many calls we get in divorce situations, the number is astronomical."

When two people get divorced the thought never crosses their mind that maybe one of them will never go along with the divorce decree.

From what I have seen with divorced friends, relatives, clients or any couples I hear of or come in contact with, nothing ever goes smoothly.

Police are called frequently, and children become the victims again.

If we could only foresee all of this before choosing the option of divorce.

Hard on Children

Since my clients and my friends became aware of my book and my stance on divorce, the feedback has been continual.

I hear so many stories of the suffering children go through when their parents get divorced.

Some of the stories come from clients at work but most of them come from phone calls I get at home.

Yesterday a woman called me in tears because her little boy wanted to go back to his dad. Her ex-husband had called the police and told them something was wrong at the house because his son wasn't happy there.

The little boy was questioned by the police quite thoroughly and they discovered he was perfectly happy with his mom and the home. The real problem was that his dad had made him feel guilty because his dad was single and would be all alone while his mom had somebody.

The little boy was afraid his dad was going to do something drastic while he was gone.

I can't even imagine a little 7 year old boy having that enormous responsibility on his shoulders.

Sadly this is only one of hundreds of stories where the police are involved.

Hard on Children